I go in again
To find you.
You know where you are.
I don't yet.

On sandy beaches, I wonder:
How long until I see you as you are?

My gains feel meaningless to all I’ve lost
Every wish projected, returned
Pushed to the “wait” pile

I've died a thousand deaths already,
And I'm so young.

Lord, you have let me suffer
When I cried for relief.
You have let the pain stretch and groan
Until my heart ceased to believe it could be lifted.

I've found a beat filled with my feeling
But lack the words to give it meaning
So it pounds on,
Just the blood
Inside my ears.

Something happened to me
And when I tried to speak about it
I spoke of other things.
I couldn’t tell the truth.

My heart blushed as she entered the dream.
She took her place among the dancers,
her train trailing from a ring,
and still she hasn't looked at me.

It seems that God hasn't understood
when I tell him that I am retarded,
that I am a very small creature
with a small brain and a twisted heart

For God made us to love
Him and then others
in that order.

In my life, I have met
a great many thoughts
not all of them friends.

said everything that I wanted to say
for the time being.

After we said all of those things
we walked around the living room
trying to make ourselves dizzy,
but not walking fast enough.